Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
