I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
