Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
