East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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