doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
