Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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