my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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