i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
