i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
