Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
