He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
