if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
