just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Come see our sink grown plant.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
