Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
be right there i have to get my cape
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
