"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
