wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
