I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
