Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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