Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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