I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
