bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
