imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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