I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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