My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
