Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
