Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize