ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
