Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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