And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
