The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
