WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
