I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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