Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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