you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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