Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
