i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
