Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
