That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
