omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
