He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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