Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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