I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
