I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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