please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
