smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
