The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
