Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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