Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
