i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
