her facebook's as public as her vagina
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
