Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
