I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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