you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
