my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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