My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
