yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
