if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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